Sex toys can be a great way to add a bit of spice to your masturbation sessions, but do they also make really good additions to the bedroom when you’re with a partner?
Do they really add something to your sexual encounters or are they going to leave you feeling inadequate?
We’ve gathered a few tips and tricks to help you add sex toys to your intimate encounters.
Do not think that your toys are going to replace you.
The whole point of bringing sex toys into the bedroom for either partner is to enhance your sexual experience together.
By bringing some new toys into the bedroom, you can easily spice up your sex life and bring your collective orgasms to an entirely new level.
- Communicate. Don’t just drop a new toy or gadget on your partner. You’ve got equal chances of being met with interest and revulsion, and sex toys are not generally returnable. Before you go toy shopping, make sure you talk with your partner.
Discuss what sort of things you want to add to your sex life and what toys you would like to try to achieve those things. You may be surprised with how open your partner is to the idea, but it’s important to broach the subject with them before you go shopping.
- Start slow. If you want to try something new, start out slow and work your way up. If bondage is the newest thing you want to try, don’t spend a ton of time learning shibari rope styles when you’re not even sure if you or your partner are going to end up liking it.
Buy some comfortable rope cuffs or some fuzzy handcuffs and start from there. It’s quite literally like learning to walk; if you jump right into running a marathon, you’re going to hurt yourself, possibly badly. Start at a walk and work your way up in to the really exciting stuff. Besides, the anticipation of trying something new makes it even more exciting!
- SPEAK UP! Don’t continue using a new toy or technique if you don’t enjoy it or it makes you uncomfortable. All that’s going to do is ruin your desire to continue having sex. If you don’t like something, make sure you speak up and let your partner know so you can either adjust it so it’s enjoyable or leave it out altogether.
- Use what you have. If you’re thinking about adding toys to the bedroom but don’t want to invest a ton of money, consider using what you already have on hand. Panties or other undergarments can make great make-shift restraints. Cell phones can double as vibrators, even without spamming phone calls to keep it active: most smart phones have vibrator apps that you can download. Even the innocent bobby pin can double as an adjustable nipple clamp!
- Shop together! Don’t just start picking up random toys without consulting your partner. Instead, start planning a joint shopping trip. Not only does it give you a chance to communicate your preferences, shopping together can really ramp up the mood and make your toy introduction even sexier.
- Find out if she already has one. Most women own at least one toy, for use when they’re on their own or with a partner. If you’re interested in adding toys to your sexual encounters, try asking your partner if they already have one that they really enjoy using. If she’s interested, try adding her personal toy to your sexual escapades. She already knows that she enjoys this toy, so adding it to your encounters has the potential to make her orgasms totally mind blowing.
- RELAX! Just like any other encounter, adding toys to the bedroom is only fun if you RELAX! Stressing out over the toys or over having sex will make it harder for you to enjoy yourself, and if you’re stressed out mood spreads, it can ruin the entire evening! Don’t focus on the toys, just do what feels right and everything else will fall into place.
Don’t get discouraged if your partner isn’t interested in bringing toys into the bedroom. While they can be a great tool to help increase your enjoyment and make your orgasms even greater, not everyone is comfortable with them. And remember: they aren’t the only way to spice up the bedroom! Just remember to talk to your partner, and once you know what you both enjoy, feel free to be a little creative!